


Lonely Hearts

by Hils



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-01
Updated: 2004-07-01
Packaged: 2018-10-08 12:06:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10386273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hils/pseuds/Hils
Summary: Semi-AU Season 4. Spike comes back to Sunnydale a little earlier and meets someone as lost and lonely as he is





	

Clutching her wounded arm, Buffy stumbled through the campus grounds with no idea where she was going. The grass was damp with dew and a number to times she almost slipped and fell. She wasn’t going to cry though, she was determined, and she blinked the tears of pain and embarrassment out of her eyes. She couldn’t believe she’d lost. It shouldn’t have happened. Sunday wasn’t an especially strong vampire, she’d just caught Buffy at a bad time. 

She stopped outside her dorm room and realised she really didn’t want to go inside. Kathy would be there, asking all sorts of questions about how she hurt her arm and probably playing Cher to help her feel better. Buffy couldn’t deal with that right now. She wanted to be somewhere safe that reminded her of home. She wasn’t going to go back to her Mom’s and show her how bad it was, so there was only one other place she could go.

* * *

Swerving his car so that it slammed into the Welcome to Sunnydale sign only caused Spike to sigh. He used to love causing mayhem and destruction but now it just made him more depressed because Dru wasn’t there to share it with him. The fungus demon had been even worse than the chaos demon, covered in green and white moulds that stank worse than death. He’d realised then that Dru was never going to be his again, so he’d decided to come back to the one place that sort of felt like home.

He didn’t have many fond memories of Sunnydale but it was the longest he’d ever stayed in one place, and it had the Slayer. Maybe he’d get lucky and kill the bitch this time.

He needed a drink first.

* * *

The Bronze was quiet and for once Buffy was glad. She could just sit by herself and give Angel some competition in the brooding category. Nursing her drink with uninjured arm she wondered how long she could get away with staying here before she had to go back out and face the world.

The prickles on the back of her neck answered her question. A vampire was nearby. Hoping Sunday hadn’t followed her she slowly turned around to see if she could spot the vamp.

That was when she saw him.

At the other end of the bar, his eyes fixed on his drink, was Spike. She almost had to stop herself from laughing. She’d honestly thought this night couldn’t get any worse.

She could have ignored him, of course, but then he’d probably be going out for a meal later and she couldn’t let him do that. With a sigh she climbed off her stool and walked over to him

“Didn’t think you were stupid enough to come back to my town again, Spike.”

He was silent for a moment and then he sighed. “Piss off.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow. She really wasn’t in the mood to be dealing with his crap tonight. Grabbing him roughly by the arm she spun him around so that he was facing her.

She let go almost immediately. His eyes were red and puffy, evidence that he’d been crying. The look of pain etched into his featured was a match to her own

“What the hell happened to you?” She demanded trying not to let him see how much the look on his face was affecting her.

“Nothing.” Spike replied softly, turning back to his drink. “Leave me alone.”

She took his arm again, more gently this time, and turned him back to her.

“You don’t get off that easy. Tell me what happened.”

A small part of her hoped it was something really terrible that would make her problems seem pale and insignificant.

“Forget it.” Spike replied. “Was looking for some peace and quiet but I’m obviously not going to find it here.”

With that he threw back the last of his drink and marched out. Buffy stared at the empty space he’d left for a moment before following him.

“Spike, wait.”

He didn’t slow down so she began to chase, not even knowing why .

“Spike, stop.”

Finally she reached him and caught hold of his arm. He reacted instantly, swinging around and pushing her away from him. Unfortunately his hand happened to push her wounded arm and Buffy couldn’t help but let out a cry of pain as she staggered back.

Spike looked at her with interest, one eyebrow raised, a small smile forming at the corners of his lips.

“Had a run-in with some big bad did you, Slayer?”

“None of your business.” Buffy snapped, cradling her arm.

“Oh, right. So it’s ok to make Spike spill all his problems but you get to keep quiet.”

“Yeah, that’s about it.”

Spike rolled his eyes and lit a cigarette. “I’ll talk if you will.”

She wanted to say no, she wanted to drive a stake through his heart and rid herself of yet another nuisance, but Spike seemed willing to listen and she really wanted to rant at someone.

“I started college this week.” She began, and with that she told him everything. How she felt out of place, how she didn’t seem to have any friends and she ended the story by telling him about her run in with Sunday.

“You let this bint beat you?” Spike asked incredulously.

“I didn’t let her beat me, she just did.”

Spike nodded. “Caught you while you were down. You’ll get her next time.”

Spike being nice? This was too much.

“Now you. What happened?”

Spike sighed and told her about his temporary reconciliation with Dru before she got bored and left him for another demon. When he finished, he half expected her to laugh, but looking at her, he saw nothing but sympathy.

“I’m sorry, Spike. I know what it’s like to lose the one you love.”

He looked at her with surprise. “Peaches run out on you?”

“He said he wanted me to be able to have a normal life.”

Spike snorted. “He always was a bloody idiot. Like the Slayer can ever have a fully normal life.”

Buffy gave a wry smile. Spike always knew how to be blunt and honest.

“Look, Spike. You can’t stay here. I appreciate the talk but you know I can’t let you feed off people in this town.”

Spike nodded. “I know. Got nowhere else to go though, have I?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I don’t want to have to stake you.”

Spike fell silent for a moment, apparently thinking. “What if I agreed to live off that butchers stuff Angel used to eat?”

Buffy regarded him sceptically. “You’d do that? Why?”

Spike shrugged. “This is the closest thing to home I’ll ever have. Don’t really fancy leaving just yet.”

Buffy nodded. “Alright, but if I find out you’ve been lying to me…”

“You’ll stake me good and proper, yeah I know.”

“Ok, then. We have a deal.”

Spike extended his hand and Buffy shook it.

“Deal.”

* * *  
Buffy’s eyes scanned the cemetery looking for any signs of life or unlife. It had been over twenty four hours since she’d made her deal with Spike and she’d been half expecting to run into him. The cemetery was quiet though. No signs of Spike, Sunday or any other vampire.

She supposed she should be glad. Her arm still hadn’t healed and she wasn’t really in full fighting form. Since things were obviously quiet she decided to head home.

That was when she heard it. A scraping noise coming from a nearby crypt.

So much for a quiet night.

Pulling out a stake, Buffy crept over to the crypt and gently pulled the door open. The scraping noise was getting louder and was now accompanied by a banging noise

“Bloody hell!”

Buffy rolled her eyes and slipped her stake back into her pocket. She walked into the crypt and blinked in surprise at what she saw.

There was a hole in the floor at the far end of the crypt and half in the hole and half out was a sofa. Spike was leaning heavily against it, trying to push it the rest of the way through but apparently not having much success.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? Dancing the salsa? I’m moving in.”

Buffy looked around the damp and bleak crypt. “Here?”

“Hello, vampire here. We’re supposed to live in dark and dank holes. Besides, I can get good TV reception downstairs.”

Buffy couldn’t help but smile at that. She never imagined Spike as the domestic type.

“You want a hand with the couch?”

Spike began pushing again. “Nope.”

“Fine.”

Buffy stood there, arms folded across her chest as she watched Spike struggle with no result. Finally she sighed, marched over and began to push with him.

A few seconds later the sofa dropped down to the level below.

“I could have done that without you.” Spike protested.

“Yeah, in about another 3 days. You’re welcome.”

Ignoring the prompt for thanks, Spike headed back out to cemetery.

“I’m going to pick up some blood. Feel free to loiter here if you want.”

Buffy took one look at the crypt, wrinkled her nose and ran after him.

* * *  
They were barely halfway across the cemetery when Buffy found her path suddenly blocked.

“Well, if it isn’t the freshman. How’s the arm?”

Spike looked at Sunday and then at Buffy.

“This who you were talking about yesterday?”

“Yeah,” Buffy replied, keeping her eyes locked on her enemy.

“Want me to take her out for you?”

Sunday laughed. “Oh, that’s cute. Your boyfriend thinks he’s a tough guy does he?”

Spike suddenly found himself pulled away from Buffy and surrounded by the rest of Sunday’s gang. He rolled his eyes, they obviously had no idea who they were dealing with.

“Alright then, let’s dance.”

As Spike began raining punches and kicks down on Sunday’s gang, Buffy realised he was going to do fine taking care of himself. She turned her attention to the female vampire.

“You really think you can beat me again?”

Sunday squared her shoulders and raised her head. “There so way some weak, pathetic girl with a broken arm can beat me. You may as well give up now and-“

Buffy reacted instantly, pulling her stake out and hurling it at Sunday’s chest. It hit the target and she crumbled to dust before she could even finish her sentence.

“Loser.” Buffy spat out before turning just in time to see Spike stake his last vampire.

“Told you you’d beat her next time,” he said smugly as he walked over to join her.

“Yeah, you did. Can we go now? I’m bored.”

* * *

“Spike! I brought you some blood!” 

A week ago the very thought of doing Spike’s shopping for him would have weirded Buffy out more than anything, but over the last week she has found herself getting used to having him around, to the point where she helped him finish moving into his crypt and offered to buy him blood when he wasn’t able to go out himself

“Cheers, pet. I’m downstairs.”

Of course he was. That’s where he always was during the day. She had never imagined it possible for a vampire to get addicted to daytime TV, but then Spike was so unlike other vampires.

“What’s on?” Buffy asked as she climbed down the ladder and handed him and pot of blood.

“Sabrina.”

“Willow wouldn’t be pleased if she knew you were watching this. She says it makes real witches look stupid.”

“Well it’s a good thing she doesn’t know I’m here then.”

Both Buffy and Spike had agreed it would probably be best if she didn’t tell her friends about it. She doubted they’d understand, and if she was honest she liked having someone all to herself like this. 

“How’s university going?” Spike asked once the show had finshed.

“Better. I feel like I’m actually settling in now.”

“Good.” Spike replied with a smile. “Told you it would get better. Just have to stick with it is all.”

“Yeah, thank you oh wise and mighty Spike.”

“You better believe it.” He grinned.

“How about you?” Buffy asked. “Feeling better?”

“Actually, I am. Never thought staying around in this town would cheer me up.”

Buffy smiled and then turned her attention back to the TV. “Ooh, Saved By The Bell!”

* * *

“A guy from College asked me out.”

The patrol of the cemetery had been silent up until this point. It was a routine they had fallen into since the encounter with Sunday. Spike had enjoyed the fight, even if it was against his own kind, and had suggested he help Buffy to patrol. She had agreed. A bit of extra help was always useful, and she was glad of the company. 

She’d come round to Spike’s crypt after school, with some blood for him if he’d run out, and they’d watch TV together until the sun set. As they patrolled they would chat about all sorts of things, and it came as a surprise when Spike said nothing when she told him her news.

“Spike?”

He stopped but didn’t turn to face her. “What?”

“Aren’t you going to say anything? Don’t you want to know what he’s like?”

With a small sigh he slowly turned and looked her in the eye. “Go on then.”

Buffy smiled an excited school girl smile. “His name’s Riley. He’s a TA in my Psychology class. He seems really nice.”

Her smile faded.

“But?” Spike prompted.

“What if you’re right? What if I can’t have a normal life? I mean, I’d have to lie to him all the time. I tried it once when I was in High School and it didn’t work out.”

Spike gave her a small smile. “You’re actually listening to me? Come on, Buffy. My vampire girlfriend left me for a demon. You really think I have any idea what I’m talking about when it comes to love?”

“Well….”

“Look, give it a shot with this bloke. Going on a date with him doesn’t mean you’re going to be chained to him for life. If it doesn’t work out then fine, but you can’t keep running away from men just because it might not work out.”

Buffy nodded. “I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am.” Spike replied. “Now let’s go slay some vampires…present company excluded of course.”

Buffy smiled and resumed her walk. She didn’t see Spike’s smile fade behind her, or hear his dejected sigh.

* * *

Taking a sip from his mug, Spike sighed with content. “If there’s one thing this continent has going for it, it’s that you Yanks know how to make bloody good hot chocolate.”

Buffy smiled, the recipe she’d used was her mothers but she still saw it as a compliment on her ability to prepare the drink.

“I’m glad you like it.”

“So, how are things going with your bloke? What’s his name again?”

“Riley. He’s fine. We’ve been out a few times now.”

“And?”

Buffy took a sip from her drink and lowered her eyes. “It’s good. I like him a lot. I hate having to lie to him, but I guess that’s just part of the Buffy package.”

Spike drained his mug and wiped the chocolate moustache from his face with his sleeve. “I gotta go buy some blood.”

If she was startled by the sudden change of subject, Buffy didn’t let it go. She merely finished her own drink and stood up. “I’ll go with you. The butcher’s is on the way to the cemetery.

* * *

The walk was made in silence, both Buffy and Spike apparently having their minds on things other than their normal idle chit-chat. It’s was only when they heard the noise coming from one of the alleys that they spoke.

“Did you hear that?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah.” Spike replied.

The noise came again, a soft whimper and a crashing sound. Buffy was the first to move, Spike not far behind her. 

“Hello?” Buffy called as she entered the alley.

Another whimper, clearly the sound of someone in pain. Through the dark Buffy could just about make out a figure huddled at the end of the alley. As she moved forward she realised it was a girl. Hair that was once blonde, but was now coated in all sorts of dirt, hung in matted clumps around her head. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, her face buried in them

“Are you ok?” Buffy asked, “Are you hurt?”

The girl raised her head and Buffy gasped.

“Harmony?”

“Buffy?” Harmony croaked her voice weak and tired. “Thank god it’s you. You have to help me.”

Buffy crouched down in front of the girl and reached out to touch her shoulder. “Did someone hurt you?”

Harmony shook her head. “I’m just so hungry.”

An instant later Harmony had the face of a vampire and had latched onto Buffy’s arm, biting into it and drinking deep.

Crying out in pain Buffy used her free arm to punch Harmony in the face, knocking the weakened vampire unconscious.

“Are you ok?” Spike asked, concern in his eyes as he examined Buffy’s wound.

“It’s not bad.” Buffy replied, removing the bandana from her hair and tying it around the bite.

Spike pulled a stake out of his pocket and crouched down beside Harmony. “Want me to finish her off for you?”

Buffy thought for a moment and then shook her head. “Can you take her back to your place while I pick up some blood? I want to see what she has to say for herself before we think about staking her.”

* * *

“I just suck at being a vampire.” Harmony complained as she drained her third container of blood. “I tried to be evil, but nobody took me seriously. I couldn’t even get cute college boys to come into a dark alley with me. I tried stealing to get money but I kept breaking my nails.”

She began to sob and Spike rolled his eyes, taking a seat beside her and patting her gently on the shoulder.

“Not easy being a vampire at first, pet. But you’ll get the hang of it. Pretty soon you’ll be draining the neck of anyone you-“

Buffy glared at him.

“-or not.”

“Look, Harmony. You don’t have to kill people just because you’re a vampire. Spike here manages to live off pigs’ blood. You could too.”

Harmony studied the container in her hand. “It doesn’t actually taste that bad. It’s not fattening is it?”

Spike smiled and shook his head. “No difference to the human stuff really.”

Harmony returned his smile. “I guess I could do that. But how will I pay for it, and I don’t have anywhere to live.”

She began to sob again, loud wailing cries that made Buffy and Spike wince. Buffy moved away, pulling Spike with her.

“Why don’t you let her stay here? It might be nice for you to have some company when I’m not around.”

Spike glanced over at the sniffling vampire and sighed. “Not really who I had in mind for a roommate.”

“Come on, Spike. She has nowhere else to go, and she needs help with this whole being a vampire thing. You’re the best person to show her the ropes.”

Buffy was looking at him with such pleading eyes that he couldn’t refuse. “Bloody hell, alright then.”

Buffy smiled, took his hand in hers and squeezed it. “Thank you.”

She moved back over to Harmony who had stopped crying and was now rubbing her red and puffy eyes. 

“Spike has agreed to let you stay here with him. He’ll share his blood with you and make sure you’re ok.”

Harmony’s face lit up and she jumped to her feet, hurling herself at Spike and throwing her arms around him.

“Oh my god, thank you. Thank you!”

“Uh…yeah, right.” Spike replied, shifting uncomfortably and causing Buffy to smile.

“I better go. You two can get to know each other a little better and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Buffy.” Harmony called as she grabbed another container of blood from the fridge before turning to Spike. “You got any seasoning for this?”

* * *

“So how are things going with you and Harmony?” Buffy asked as she and Spike made their regular patrol of the cemetery. The vampire in question was still in Spike’s crypt, watching some movie on TV. They’d invited her to join them a few times but she’d insisted she was no good at fighting. Buffy was inclined to believe her.

“Why? What have you heard?” Spike asked nervously.

“Nothing.” Buffy replied, her eyebrows raised in surprise. “I was just wondering how she was settling in.”

“Oh, fine.” Spike replied. “Nothing of interest going on there at all.”

His words were so rushed Buffy could barely make them out. She stopped dead in her tracks in front of him and turned to face him.

“Ok, Spike. What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you’re acting really weird and you’re obviously not telling me something. Now either you talk or I beat it out of you.”

They both knew she wouldn’t do it. Their friendship was close enough now that she was as likely to hit him as she would be to hit Xander or Willow.

“Bloody hell.” Spike muttered under his breath. “I slept with her.”

“You slept with who?”

“Harmony. I slept with Harmony.”

Buffy stared at him, blinking slowly a couple of time. “Oh my god!”

Spike sighed. “I knew you’d be angry. That’s why I didn’t say anything. It wasn’t my fault though. We were just watching TV one night and she threw herself at me.”

“Angry? Are you kidding? I think it’s great!”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “You do?”

“Yeah, now you have Harmony and I have Riley. We’ve both moved on, Spike. Our lives are finally getting better.”

“Right, better.”

Buffy didn’t notice the sadness in his voice, and spent the rest of the night talking about the wonders of relationships. Spike couldn’t bring himself to tell her that when he’d slept with Harmony he’d been thinking of an entirely different blonde.

* * *

“I can’t believe I got an A on my paper.” Buffy said excitedly as she and Riley drank coffee together. “An A. Me.”

Riley smiled. “Well, you’ve been working hard, and you’ve had some expert tuition.”

Buffy grinned. “Yeah, better not tell Professor Walsh you’ve been helping me study. She’ll tell me that I should stop leaning on the intellect of others or something.”

“She’s not that bad, Buffy. She just wants you to put everything you’ve got into your work.”

“Right, by being a complete-“

“Buffy!”

Buffy looked up to see Harmony stood at their table, dark circles under her eyes and tears streaming down them.

“Harmony? What are you doing here? What’s wrong.”

“Spike’s missing. He went out to get us something to eat last night and he didn’t come back. Buffy, I’m scared. I need my little Boo-Boo. He takes care of me.”

Buffy shot Riley an apologetic look. “I should go and sort this out. Spike’s a friend of mine.”

“Do you want me to help? Maybe you should just let the police deal with it.”

“No, it’s ok. I think we can manage. He probably just got drunk and passed out somewhere.”

She pressed a quick kiss to his lips, took Harmony’s arm and pulled her out of the Café. 

* * *

In silence Buffy and Harmony trudged back to Spike’s crypt and slumped into his couch. It had been a week since he’d disappeared and so far they’d found no trace of him. Buffy didn’t want to say anything to upset Harmony but it wasn’t looking good.

“If someone has staked Spike, we’d never know, would we?” Harmony said softly, apparently reading Buffy’s mind. “He’d just be grains of dust that would blow away.”

She began to cry. “I don’t want him to be dust. I want him here, with me.”

Buffy held Harmony in her arms, trying to offer what comfort she could. “I know. I miss him too.”

“Well, that’s nice to know.” A weak voice replied.

Buffy’s and Harmony’s heads snapped up to see Spike standing in the entrance of the crypt, leaning against the wall. 

“Spike! Oh my god, where have you been! What happened to you?”

“Long story.” He replied, pushing himself away from the wall and walking towards them. He was about halfway there when his eyes rolled back in his head and he crumpled to the floor.

“Spike!” Harmony screeched, rushing over to him. Buffy got there first, and it was she who noticed the gauze pad taped to the back of his head. It was dotted with spots of blood.

“He’s hurt, help me get him to the bed” She told Harmony who was also now kneeling beside Spike.

Between them they soon had him face down on the bed so as not to put any pressure on his head wound. Harmony went to warm some blood while Buffy did her best to make Spike comfortable. She’d managed to remove his boots and his duster when his eyes opened and he peered sleepily at her.

“Don’t worry.” She said softly, brushing her hand over his cheek. “Harmony and I will take care of you.”

He let out a small sigh of apparent relief before his eyes closed and he drifted back to sleep.

* * *

A day later and Spike was awake and coherent enough to be sat up in bed, enjoying the doting ministrations of Harmony. She kept him well stocked with blood and changed the TV channel every time Spike complained that something boring was on.

Buffy, in the meantime, was trying to get to the bottom of what had happened to him. He’d told her as much as he could. He’d been attacked on his way back from the butchers. He’d been knocked out and had woken up to find himself in some sort of underground lab. He’d seen a few doctors but not long enough to really describe them, and had run into some men in military uniform when he’d tried to escape. 

Buffy knew who he was talking about. She’d run into these commando types a few times while she was on patrol. They hadn’t seemed too interested in her, but there was obviously something weird going on. 

Now she just had to figure out what.

* * *

Since violence was what Buffy was good at, she decided it was probably the best way to solve the Commando mystery. They would no doubt be out looking for Spike so all she had to do was find one and beat him up until he talked. A simple plan really.

Simple in theory anyway. She’d patrolled alone for the past three nights, insisting Spike keep a low profile until she got to the bottom of this. So far she hadn’t seen a single one of them. She’d been to all of the places she’d run into them before and so far nothing. 

This evening had proved to be just as fruitless, and she had decided to head back to the crypt and check on Spike. In all honesty the sight of Harmony fluttering around him like a butterfly made her feel a bit sick, but she’d have to learn to deal with it. 

As she entered the cemetery, something told her she wasn’t alone. She couldn’t be sure it was a vampire but she pulled a stake from her pocket nonetheless. Who else would be wandering around in a cemetery at this time of night?

She could feel him, her or it behind her now. She had to time this just right.

As she passed a low gravestone she vaulted onto it with her hands, pushed herself into a backwards somersault and landed neatly on her feet right behind her follower. She quickly grabbed his arm, twisted it behind his back and forced him to his knees.

“Well, well. Just the person I was looking for.” She said to the masked commando. “I’ve got a few questions for you, and if you don’t answer them then I’m going to introduce you to a whole new world of pain. Do you understand?”

He nodded his head in acknowledgement. 

“Good. Now first of all let’s take a look at you.”

She tugged at his mask and her eyes widened at the face she saw beneath.

“Riley?”

“Buffy! What the hell is going on? How did you do that? What are you doing out here?”

The questions came thick and fast, but all Buffy could do was stare at him. Her nice, normal boyfriend was a vampire hunting commando.

* * *

Buffy had been pacing for about ten outside Spike’s crypt, trying to work up the courage to go inside. She and Riley had had a long talk the night before. Both of them had been entirely honest with the other and now she had to tell Spike what she had learned. He wasn’t going to be happy to say the least. 

Taking a deep breath she stepped inside, knowing the conversation she was about to have was going to change things between her and Spike. Probably for good.

She heard laughter as she entered the lower part of the crypt. Spike and Harmony were sat on the end of his bed watching TV together.

“Hey, Buffy.” Harmony smiled as she spotted the Slayer. “Come and watch TV with us. This thing is hilarious.”

“Not right now.” Buffy replied quietly. “Can you give me and Spike a minute. I need to talk to him alone.”

Harmony might not have been the brightest spark in the world, but even she could spot that something was seriously wrong. She got up without a word, switched off the TV and headed up the ladder into the other part of the crypt.

“What’s wrong?” Spike asked, also sensing the gravity of the situation.

Buffy sighed, sat down beside him and then jumped up. “I don’t know how to say this, Spike.”

“Just say it, luv. You know you can tell me anything.”

She nodded. “I found one of the commandos last night.”

“That’s good, right? Did you found out who they are? What they’re doing? What the hell they did to my head while I was in the lab of theirs?”

“It was Riley.”

Spike stared at her with total incomprehension. “Riley? As in your boyfriend Riley?”

Buffy nodded again. “Apparently they’re a military run organisation that captures demons to experiment on them and find out more about them.”

Spike snorted. “Knew it was only a matter of time before the Yanks got in on this. The Germans tried the same thing in World War Two, Buffy. It didn’t go well for them. Hope you told him you were gonna put a stop to it.”

Buffy lowered her eyes.

“Buffy?”

“They might not be doing things the way I would like, Spike. But they’re taking demons off the street, making my job easier and keeping people safe.”

“No, they’re using demons for their own purposes! Bloody hell, Buffy, you just let him go didn’t you?”

“What else was I supposed to do?” Buffy snapped. “Kill an innocent human being, because I don’t like the way he treats demons. Those monsters would be out killing people, Spike.”

He snorted. “Yeah, like I was when they took me. God, Buffy, if you had any idea what it’s like in that place. The nightmares I’ve been having since I escaped. But then you wouldn’t, would you. I’m just another demon.”

“Spike, you know that’s not true.”

“Do I? How long is it going to be before your boyfriend figures out where you slip off to every night? How long til he finds me and Harm and finishes us off?”

“I won’t let that happen.” Buffy replied softly.

“Don’t see how you can stop it, short of never coming here again.”

“Is that what you want?” There were tears in Buffy’s eyes as she asked the question she didn’t want an answer to.

“No, it’s not. But I don’t see any other choice.” He rose to his feet. “I think you should go.”

“I’m sorry, Spike.” Buffy whispered, but he refused to look at her. 

With a heart feeling like it was made of lead, Buffy climbed the ladder and went home.

As Spike heard the door to the crypt close, he dropped back down onto the bed and began to weep.

* * *

“Buffy Summers? The Slayer? Well, I never would have imagined it.”

Buffy sat uncomfortably in her chair while Professor Walsh circled her like a buyer examining an item at a market.

“Well, I never imagined you as they type to lead a secret military organisation.” Buffy replied. “Actually, on second thoughts you do seem the type.”

Professor Walsh laughed. “Riley was right to being you to me. I can see you being a fine asset to this organisation.”

“Asset?” Buffy asked curiously.

“Well, yes. Why do you think I wanted to meet you? I want you to work with us, Buffy.”

Stunned, Buffy could only sit there while images flashed through her mind. Images of herself capturing vampires, torturing them, cutting into their flesh, just as it had happened to Spike. She shuddered at the thought.

“I’m sorry, I can’t.”

* * *

Buffy barely looked up from her book as Riley stepped into her dorm room.

“Willow said you were here.” He said as way of an explanation. “Can we talk?”

“Did Professor Walsh send you?” Buffy asked, still not looking at him.

“Yeah, but-“

“Then we have nothing to talk about.” Buffy interrupted.

“I don’t understand why you don’t want to help us Buffy. We’re doing the same sort of work here.”

“No, Riley, we’re not. I kill vampires and demons to save people. I don’t cut them up and torture them for my own reasons. I can’t be a part of that.”

“Why?” Riley asked, “They’re just monsters. What does it matter how they die?”

It was a sensible enough question, and one Buffy couldn’t answer without betraying Spike.

“I have my reasons.”

* * *

“Spike, won’t you eat something?”

He continued to stare at the ceiling, silent and unresponsive. He’d been this way since his fight with Buffy and nothing Harmony had said or done had managed to snap him out of it.

With a sigh she sat down on the bed and placed the mug of blood on the table.

“Did you ever tell her you love her?”

That at least got a reaction. Spike turned his head and looked at her with a mixture of surprise and confusion. “What?”

“Did you ever tell Buffy that you love her?”

“Harmony, I don’t-“

“Please, Spike. It’s totally obvious. I’m not a complete moron.”

He sat up at that and looked at her, really looked at her. She simply smiled at him kindly.

“Why did you stay?” He finally asked, “Even when you knew how I felt about her.”

“Because I like you, dummy. You’re like my best friend, with benefits.”

He smiled sadly at her. “I’m sorry Harm, I never meant to use you like that.”

Harmony shrugged. “Hey, it was fun while it lasted. Now you need to find Buffy and tell her how you feel before it’s too late.”

* * *  
“What reasons?” Riley prodded. “Buffy, there was a time when we used to tell each other everything. What’s changed?”

“Everything has changed, Riley. Surely you can see that.”

“No, I can’t. Buffy, I still love you and if there’s something you want to tell me then you can. I won’t tell the Professor if you don’t want me to. Just let me in.”

A knock at the door prevented her from answering.

“I’ll tell them to go away.” Riley said, moving over and opening the door. “Can I help you?”

“You must be Riley. I was looking for Buffy actually.”

Buffy’s eyes widened as she recognised the voice and Riley’s eyes widened as he recognised the face.

“You’re Hostile 17!”

“Actually, I prefer the name Spike.”

Buffy charged over to the door and pushed Riley out of the way before another word could be exchanged. “Spike, get out of here.”

“Can’t, sun’s up and I lost my blanket.”

“Spike, this isn’t a good time.”

“Oh? You and soldier boy about to shag? Well, don’t mind me.”

“It’s not that.” Buffy sighed in exasperation.

“I have orders to take you in!” Riley said, looming behind Buffy.

“That’s why it’s not a good time.” Buffy told Spike.

“I need to talk to you.”

Buffy rubbed a weary hand over her eyes. How did she get herself into these situations? She turned to Riley who was so close behind her she bashed her nose on his chest.

“Riley, go and sit on Willow’s bed. If you come within a foot of Spike while he’s in here, I’ll break a bone that you’ll probably need.

“Buffy, he’s dangerous. He’s a vampire.”

“I know.” Buffy sighed. “Now sit.”

Once she was sure Riley was sat down and not going to move she turned back to Spike.

“Come in.”

Tentatively Spike stepped into her room and took a look around. It was the first time he’d been here, having to hack into the College computer to find out where her room was.

“Nice place.” He mused before sitting down on the bed beside her.

“What did you want to talk to me about?”

“I broke up with Harm.”

“Oh. Are you ok?”

He smiled. “Actually yeah. She just realised I was in love with someone else.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Oh, Spike. We’ve talked about this before. You need to get over Dru. Moping after her isn’t going to do you any good and .....mmmpphh.”

She was cut off by his lips crushing hers, his tongue plundering her mouth and feelings of warmth and love flooding through her. The moment seemed to last forever, only ending when she pulled back to gasp for breath.

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve wanted to do that?” Spike asked quietly as he stroked her face. “Right since you made that truce with me all those months back.”

“Months?” Riley exploded, apparently no longer able to contain himself. “Buffy, you can’t seriously say you’ve known this creature for months. He’s a monster.”

“Maybe.” Buffy replied, holding Spike’s hand in hers, “but he’s my monster. I’m sorry things didn’t work out between us Riley. You can tell Professor Walsh all you want, you’ve met my reason for not wanting to join your little army gang. Just remember, if you or any of your lot come near me, Spike or any of my friends, I will hurt you in ways you can’t imagine.”

Riley shook his head. “Insane. You’re insane, Buffy.”

And with that he was gone.

“Did you really mean it?” Spike asked as the door slammed behind Riley.

Buffy nodded, leaning in to kiss him again.

“Nobody touches my vampire.”


End file.
